Life goes on…

A year ago I found this great job – [See my Post “One more try” – August 15 2015] – live in companion for 95 yo Lady.
Mary is nice.
Money is good.
Job is not very difficult.
But I have to quit.
I can not do it any longer.
I’m burned out.
The pain in my joints…
The monotony of each day…
Only blogging keeps me alive.
But, as you notice,I can’t even write anymore.
I can’t inspire.
I’m loosing my sense of humor.
I have this feeling that I’m in the wrong place.

Someone said: “If God need you somewhere else, he makes you uncomfortable.”

And someone else said:”Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong anymore.”

And this what I said on the last page of my book:
But only of this book
Life goes on
So do I
Where I’m going?
I don’t know
I will know when I get there…

So wish me luck.
I’m going to be OK… wherever I go…

Thank you for visiting

God Bless you all.

76 thoughts on “Life goes on…

  1. I understand completely. 15 months ago my wife and I sold our house to move in with my 100 year old father to take care of him. This was in part because he refused Assisted Living and his cardiac prognosis was poor; but apparently not poor enough. However he is, and has always been a mean spirited, self centered, selfish, humorless man who has never had any love in his heart for his own family…….only for himself; or anyone else who is not kin. The words “Thank you” have never been in his vocabulary. He has sucked the life, humor and joy out of us like an old vampire sucking the blood out of its innocent victims.
    If God needs me someplace else, I wish he would send a sign.

  2. I’m sorry about how you feel. You still can write and express your feelings and pain. Many are looking forward to hearing from you. I do love you too and you are not alone. Nobody knows what is going to happen next. Regards, Milú Ramalho

  3. Hi:

    Recently I had the startling epiphany that I was born the wrong species. Talk about being stuck!
    Dr.Theodor Geisel (known to most as Dr.Suess) tells us we can get stuck sometimes.
    “Un-sticking oneself is not easily done.”
    If you haven’t already, read this book “Oh, The Places We’ll Go!”.
    Don’t forget to do something for yourself. Something you like to do (not so much indulgence, per se, but maybe that’s okay, too!)
    You’re a caregiving person, and like most, the last person you’ll care for is yourself.

    Remember, I care for you, too!

    O-O-O (big hugs)
    X-X-X (big kisses)

    Sometimes, all we can do is hold someone, and tell them “I’m right here.”.



  4. Yes, dearest Anna, you are going to be OK! Heaven listens to us. Always. Even more attentively on special days. And since today is a special day for me, my birthday, I wholeheartedly offer a prayer of gratitude for You, asking for divine healing in every area of your beloved life.
    Warmly embracing you,
    Your Brother under God,

    ❤ Leon

  5. Mom says sometimes finding the right road takes time and lots of patience, but it’s so rewarding when you find it. Hang in there. Obviously there is something very special out there for you and you will find it. We all wish you the best of luck as your new journey begins. Hugs from Mom and purrs and soft paw pats from Hemingway and Shakespeare…….

  6. Thank you for the post. I’ve been working in the same hospital for 10 years. And applying now for other places. I am burnt out. My coworkers are changing. The focus is getting away from patients and more on things like scrapes on the wall and how close to the sink your supplies are.

    I’ve felt like I grew up thinking, you find a career and stay in it. But I’ve been traveling recently and thought, why can’t I have 5 careers each ten years long? There is an expectation of complacency and comfort. Of unchanging, unresting, commitment. And then when we want to be happy we feel guilty.

    You will write again, you will feel again. Just as I hope to draw again and to feel passion again. What keeps me going is thinking, I’ve been happy in the past, I knew I can feel that way again.

    You are not alone. The thing about people that don’t stay put is, they are rich in experiences.

    1. I, too, work in a hospital and have had some of the same feelings you expressed. I have tried to dissect it all and attempted to write about it. I think it may help!

  7. Best of luck on finding the place you need to be. It is a scary but important step. I hope your joint pain is soon getting better and thus the depression subsides some as well… Sending some positive thoughts your way!

  8. You may not think you can write – but I believe you can. What you just wrote is incredibly powerful. Keep writing dear friend. Keep writing. Things will fall into place.

  9. Dear Anna,
    I am wishing you an inspiring journey to your new place which I am sure is already waiting for you!
    Please know that you are not alone. Many people are experiencing such a kind of discomfort at the moment. The world is shifting, big time. And we are being moved to new places, positions and/or insights so that things can fall into place – for us and for the rest of the world.
    Those phases of big change can feel scary. I just have experienced a lot of fears and dark stuff, myself. But if we trust our inner guidance we will always be well taken care of, even if we cannot see, yet, where the road is taking us.
    Much love and courage,

  10. Just found your blog..Notice there are around 500,00 views..You need to keep writing your blog..People need to hear what you say..hope to read a lot more of your previous blogs..peace be with day at a time 🙂

  11. You are right to follow your heart. He will lead you in another direction, but can only do so if you let go of the weight of unhappiness. Best of luck my friend!

  12. Hola lovely one and grand WP queen!

    Internet is slow or ‘no’ and I am so behind, but wanted to send you a cyber hug, and yes, the right doors will open, and you will be right where you should be…

    wish we were closer so i could give you a genuine hug, but a cyber hug will have to suffice.


  13. I hope you are getting health care for your joints and depression. If you don’t have insurance, there are probably some community programs. I’m sending prayers for healing and a clear path to your next adventure. 🙂

  14. I’m just now catching up on some of my blog reading. I hope by the time you read this comment, you will have landed on your feet and begun the next stage of your life. Not being able to do the job is a sign that you need to listen to your own body and do something else. Trust me, I understand. Good luck!

  15. Blogging is a good medium of therapy and finding others who have experienced similar tragedy and challenges. I don’t know if my story quite compares to your struggle from which you have come through victorious, I would say. I remember the Phil Ochs song “There but for Fortune”. Your story from what I’ve read so far leaves me, however with a feeling of poignancy (causing a strong feeling of sadness), which I don’t believe you really intend to project. You have had great courage and hope, which i believe you value highly. Thank you – God Bless

  16. Here’s an inspiring thought for you from our Toastmaster’s club President: “I thought about how many people have affected me. Then I thought, why not turn that around in my self-talk and say to myself, “How many people have I effected? ”

    I would welcome your feedback on why you liked a few of my posts – I don’t seem to get too much commentary beyond just the “likes”. Thanks, if you do, but don’t feel that you have to.

  17. Hi! I am so sorry to hear about how you are feeling and your current battle with cancer. I do disagree that God would allow you to suffer from the ravages of cancer to ensure that ‘you are somewhere else”. Sickness has never been His modus operandi for shifting us. Yes He will make it uncomfortable for you to stay in a place you are not meant to be but destroying you slowly is not his means.

    I do hope I have not offended you so much that you will not read further. Please allow me to share some testimonies with you. There are several experiences I have had with people being healed from deadly illnesses.

    A close friend of my family discovered cancer in her breast. It was a large lump. When she visited the doctor it was verified and they gave her several options for surgery. Later during the day she called and asked me to pray for her. I did not pray. Instead, I did what the Lord commanded me. I told her to let go of bitterness and unforgiveness that she was carrying for someone. He told me once she released herself from these emotions, it would be gone in two weeks. She was not pleased and abruptly ended the conversation. She then attempted to do a quick surgery but had to wait for three weeks. While she waited she decided to forgive the person. When she went back to the doctor to do the surgery. They rang tests to examine the cancer but could not find it. She was completely healed. It has been two years and the cancer has not resurfaced.

    My cousin was also healed from cervical cancer. Two decades ago, she went through a very traumatic experience at the hands of a male friend. It lead to her being bitter towards him. One day she became very ill and went to the doctor to get checked. She underwent treatment but it was an aggressive cancer. It was not until she obeyed the Lord and forgave Him that she was completely healed from the cancer. Its a testimony that she has shared many times and still continues to do occasionally; especially when ministering to the people she Pastor.

    These are just two incidents of God’s unfailing ability to set us free.

    Sadly, I have also seen the opposite. I know two very young persons who never recovered from the illness. In both cases it was not the will of God for them to die. They lost hope and sudden death happened. God’s will was for them to live but they gave up hope. They never believed he could heal them. So they resigned themselves to the touch of death.

    Last year I visited King Jesus Ministry, in South Miami, Florida under the leadership of Apostle Guillermo Maldonado and witnessed several healings. At their regular service many people were healed from numerous diseases.

    Healing is possible. I have witnessed it and lived free from illnesses for years. I have not even had the common cold. I am praying that you will begin to hope again. There is much more that is in you. There are too many gifts and talents in you.

    I am praying for you.

    1. I always forgive everyone. I just believe that there is a reason for everything under the Sun. And I believe that God needed me in different place. And I know that Life is not a Heaven yet…. So I’m loving every hour of my Life and counting my blessings. And my hearth goes to those who suffer more than I do. God Bless.

  18. Hi there, Anna,

    Just to say thank you for visiting my blog…and I also know how painful it is to stay stuck, and yes change is painful but the rewards are that you’ve moved on. You’ve got the right attitude though and you will be okay …good luck and know that you are not alone in this.

  19. I like the quote you provided about God making you uncomfortable when it’s time to change, and I can totally relate. I think it’s so sweet and giving of yourself that you spent a year of your life taking care of a 95-year-old woman. But I get that when it’s time to move on, it’s time.

  20. Dearest Anna, I have lived in many places in England and Spain and travelled to many others in this shrinking world changing careers, occupations and hobbies along the way, always looking for those things which make me feel good and I am able easily to take on. When I finally allowed the healing potential to manifest in me I was told, thank goodness you have overcome your humility! Your reader Michael speaks great wisdom and I speak from personal experience over the baggage we carry in the form of un-forgiveness, hatred, envy and mis-remembrance which we need to let go of to allow the constant stream of Well-being from the Logos to affect our health for the better with no ifs, buts or doubts. Don’t forget Anna that your quest is to find happiness. Love, David

  21. Wishing you the best of luck to find what you are seeking. Some words of wisdom though never burn all your bridges behind you. The reason being that when I made my choice and moved away from my homeland the U.S. to live in Latvia I didn’t realize that someday I might not be able to return. There is a lot of good in my decision one being that I got my mom back to her homeland two years before she died and I met my soul mate here. However I did burn all my bridges behind me and now we are in financial difficulties here and my heart aches that if things don’t change I might never have the chance to see my homeland again. So do begin that wonderful new chapter but think about what you are leaving behind and if one day you might not want to retrace some footsteps.

  22. G’day ojneanna65, you must be an angel to help one so. The burden one carries sometimes grows to hard to bear alone but you are not alone if you have but one friend there to cry upon his/her shoulder. I would like to be your friend and be there when you need a shoulder to cry on. Loneliness is worse than sickness at least their is some hope for a cure but you are such a wonderful person that you will never be alone. Please do keep in touch with me on my wordpress blog best of luck regards Eay Thyer.

  23. I used to follow you with @blessmyourneyalways then I missing all connection with this blog. I like reading silently your blog, it’s fun to read and I felt connect for your fighting spirit. This will be my new blog as I continue struggle to open my old blog :))

  24. Reblogged this on Melissa Blanchard Book Corner and commented:
    Thank you for sharing your journey. I’ve learned it important to stay connected with positive people and the best way for me has been to give uplifting feedback to others. You made me very happy today liking my blog posts. Many times its the little things that make the most difference in a life. May you find peace and healing in affirming all the goodness within your spirit and soul. Thanks for being you. Sincerely, Melissa Blanchard.

Leave a Reply to hayley Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s